Rabbi Yossi's Blog

This weekend my wife, Goldie, is in New York participating in the Worldwide Conference of Shluchot, an international gathering of Chabad women leaders. The Rebbe, the inspiration behind the work that Chabad does locally and the world over, continuously emphasized the integral role of the Jewish woman. This weekend, in addition to the inspirational workshops and programs, serves to celebrate their invaluable contribution. It is always scheduled to coincide with the Yahrtzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson (wife of the Rebbe), whose life continues to be an inspiration to so many Chabad women.
Men and women are different; therefore their roles are different too. But unlike what some seem to think, that different means secondary or inferior, the Chabad attitude is that women are different but equal. In some respects, the contribution of women is greater than that of men; it is up to them to ensure Jewish continuity and as such the Jewish education of the entire house is under their responsibility. Click here to learn more about the unique Jewish feminine contribution on our extensive Jewish Woman’s site.
While Goldie is in New York, she will be visiting and praying at the resting place of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, an auspicious and holy place. If you would like her to pray on your behalf or on behalf of a family member who could use a blessing, please email her [email protected]. Please include in the email your Jewish name and your mother’s Jewish name, as it is customary to include them in the prayer.
Please note: The banquet concluding the women’s conference will be broadcast live online this Sunday at 3pm and you can watch it on our website by clicking here.

I have many practices that, as an observant Jew living in Folsom, raise eyebrows. But the one that takes the cake is the standard of avoiding any type of physical contact with women. Many times when I meet women I put them in an uncomfortable position by declining to shake their outstretched hand (and you should see the expression on some men's faces when my wife does the same thing to them!). I explain that observant Jews reserve physical contact between genders for husband and wife.

Although occasionally there are women who take offense, most people are respectful and some even appreciate the custom. One woman told me that she would sleep much better at night if she knew that her husband held himself to such a standard...

But, why?! is the real question. Isn’t that a little extreme? Well, perhaps. I can see why you could think so. And we can discuss the pros and the cons. But one important point is this: It creates a real exclusivity to the husband-wife relationship.

Judaism’s idea on the relationship between men and women is diametrically different than the prevailing attitude that basically anything goes. Judaism views the relationship as something spiritual and holy, even G-dly. It is for this reason that the Torah places such an emphasis on the parameters of the relationship.

Another important difference in perspective can be gleaned from the Hebrew word for love, Ahava. Today the attitude is what can I get from this relationship? What’s in it for me? Ahava - love is connected to the word hav - give. It’s not about what I can get from this relationship, it’s what can I give.