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Rabbi Yossi's Blog

Welcome to Rabbi Yossi's Blog; where you can expect to find thoughts on current events, Torah learning and Jewish spirituality. And of course, some good Jewish humor.

Life lessons from the first Airbnb

Trailer.jpg Photo by Tyler Casey on Unsplash

The unprecedented change that the internet has achieved is nothing short of mind blowing. And yet, we don’t even think twice about it.

I’m not even referring to email and websites, that’s just a regular part of life nowadays. There are much more interesting developments that have been enabled by the internet. Crowdsourcing, using the power of a crowd to find solutions to problems, raise funds or even develop new products, is a fascinating concept that has existed for ages but has been supercharged by the internet. 

 

Then there’s the “sharing economy”; that car you’re not driving all the time can be used to drive people to their destination and earn a few dollars. The parking space that you own, the clothes you’ve outgrown; they can be easily rented, sold or bartered. The room in your house that’s not used all the time? It can be rented out and be a source of income.

However, while I’d venture to say that most of us have taken advantage of the convenience of these services, not all of us would be comfortable providing them. While we may have an extra room in our home - it’s only used when family comes to visit - we still wouldn’t list it on Airbnb.

It’s difficult to host guests; they take over some of your space and command your attention. You can’t just be yourself, even in your own home. Not everyone is ready to do that. Can you imagine not just renting out a room but converting your entire home into a hotel? And not only occasionally hosting those who find out about it, rather going out and actively marketing it.

This is what our ancestor Abraham did. He didn’t live in his own home and mind his own business; he went out and shared whatever he had with others. He actively looked for guests to host - even when recovering from his circumcision (which he underwent at the spright age of 99).

The internet certainly expanded the Airbnb concept, but Abraham and his wife Sarah were the first to run an Airbnb.

Abraham and Sarah’s Airbnb was an oasis in the desert; they provided food, drink and lodging to all passers-by. Like Airbnb, people were drawn to stay with them based on the excellent 5-star rating, reviewed by thousands of visitors; unlike Airbnb, they didn’t charge a penny for their service. 

Well, that is, they didn’t charge if you agreed to pass on the favor. To share with others what you had learned. They used their home to host people and to provide guidance and uplift the visitors. Abraham and Sarah shared with their guests the ethical monotheism that they espoused and provided their guests with the tools needed to improve their own lives and the lives of those around them.   

Abraham and Sarah’s tent highlights how we can live the best life: sharing openly with others, providing life stabilizing guidance to those with whom we come in contact and not being intimidated when our path is not the most popular.

Abraham and Sarah’s experience assuages a common concern - if we give too much we won’t have anything left for ourselves. In fact, they were blessed with great physical and spiritual wealth. The not-so-secret truth is that the more you give, the more you get.

 

"What will be?" is the wrong question

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This week has been a consequential one to say the least. Earlier this week was the election and just yesterday we saw horrific images of Jews being beaten on the streets in Amsterdam. Both of these stories, among other big recent events, have affected many of us deeply. 

If you’re concerned about the direction in which the world is headed; whether the election results have you jubilant or depressed, the effect it should have on our life is the same. 

But first let me tell you a story. 

After the 1973 Yom Kippur War, many in Israel were feeling terribly down and depressed. Israel had won the war but at very high cost and there was a deep sense of disillusion in the country. 

Around that time, former Israeli Chief Rabbi Rabbi Yisroel Meir Lau had the opportunity to visit the Rebbe. At their meeting the Rebbe asked about the sentiment on the street in Israel. What were people saying?

Rabbi Lau replied that people are asking, “What will be?” The Rebbe grasped Rabbi Lau’s arm and said that Jews never ask “what will be?” Jews ask “what are we going to do?”

If you’re worried about antisemitism and hatred; whether you’re disappointed by the election results or happy about them, the question we have to ask ourselves is “what am I going to do”.

And the answer should be mainly the same: I’m going to focus on strengthening myself spiritually, I’m going to reach out to others and support them the best I can and I’ll do what I can to ensure the betterment of my community. 

We don’t know what the future holds but if we all maintain this attitude and mindset, we’ll be well on the way to securing a better future for all of us.

Corrective Lenses

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Photo by David Lezcano on Unsplash 

Collectively, the Jewish people have seemingly endured endless discrimination. We’ve been sold as slaves and we’ve been expelled from countries (having to forfeit all our property in the process); we’ve endured pogroms and persecution - and of course the worst atrocity of all, the Holocaust. 

Something else we’ve seen throughout history is that a very short while after these devastating events we bounce back, adapt and thrive. 

When Jewish doctors were barred from practicing in hospitals - Jewish hospitals were created to provide a place for them to practice. When Jewish workers were barred from certain professions and restricted to others, they became world class experts at the professions they were allowed. And perhaps a modern day miracle - the scrappy, penniless survivors of the Holocaust managed - amidst a sea of hostile neighbors - to establish a modern state.

The secret to this resilience, I think, lies in the deeper meaning of this Shabbat. It’s called Shabbat Chazon - a “Shabbat of Vision”. Originally this referred to Isaiah’s prophetic vision of destruction, the theme of this week’s Haftorah, but one of the early Chassidic masters shared another vision that this refers to - the vision of future redemption that we each are shown this Shabbat.

While we may not physically see this vision, our soul certainly perceives it. Perhaps even more importantly, its effect is embedded into the psyche of each one of us. Even while enduring unrelenting hardship throughout the ages, being further exiled even from the places that offered temporary respite, this vision of redemption motivates us to move forward and grow.

Today too, when the experts and prognosticators are sharing dystopian and disastrous visions - we would do better to focus on our vision, the vision of redemption embedded in our psyche that has sustained us throughout the ages. 

The future might be unknown to us, but which vision we choose to conjure will affect the way we live today - and influence the future that we build.

 

Help defeat our enemies in 3 easy steps

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How are you feeling this week? As we hit 300 days since October 7th, with over 100 hostages still being held; Iran and Hezbollah threatening Israel and Jews around the world more than before; the sense that many in our country and other Western countries don’t necessarily have our back, it's easy to get disheartened. 

I’m writing today to remind you that your worry will not change tomorrow, it will just take away your ability to appreciate today. I know, it’s considered a feature for Jewish people to worry excessively; “Start worrying, letter to follow,” reads the Jewish telegram, goes a classic stereotypical joke. 

The truth is that worry feels good. When we’re otherwise helpless, worry makes us feel involved, as if we’re somehow contributing by worrying. (It’s almost like that famous Seinfeld episode where George is explaining how he acts annoyed to make it seem as if he’s working).

Look, we’ve been around the block a few times as a people, and as we read in the Hagaddah, “In every generation they rise against us to destroy us”. But here’s the key, you know how we’ve survived - and thrived - despite it all? The Hagaddah continues, “and the Holy One, blessed be He, saves us from their hand!”

That’s why, despite all the seemingly legitimate reasons for worry, I remind you - don’t worry!

In 1990 there was a serious global terrorist threat against Jewish and Israeli targets around the world. The threat was significant enough that the Israeli Prime Minister at the time, Yitzchak Shamir, called the Rebbe’s office to inform them of the threat and to request a blessing from the Rebbe.

Following Mincha, the afternoon prayer, the Rebbe gave instructions for how to counter this terrorist threat. (Click here to see video excerpts from that talk). I’m confident that those instructions are relevant to the threats we face today as well. These are action items that we can each implement immediately and they are much more effective than worry:

  1. Increase in Torah study. On a practical level you can join us to study tomorrow morning 9:30am or on Monday evening at 7:00pm. We also have extensive options on our website, see here for a good place to begin.

  2. Give extra tzedakah. Traditionally fast days were implemented when Jewish people were in peril. In more recent generations, extra fasting is discouraged but one should give the equivalent of three meals to tzedakah (minimum of $3 per meal). There are many wonderful causes you can donate to or you can simply visit our donation page

  3. Say an extra few chapters of Psalms each day. I would recommend chapters 20, 23 and 150 (the Rebbe specifically mentioned chapter 150). 

Worrying won’t benefit anyone (except maybe your therapist or pharmacist) but implementing the above listed action items will strengthen us all spiritually and, for you personally, emotionally as well.

Remember, In G-d we Trust - it’s on the money.

 

Why visiting Israel made me angry

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We’ve known for ages that my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah would be held in Israel. We even discussed why we couldn’t go; too expensive, who would watch the kids, and a host of other challenges. 

Suddenly last week we realized that perhaps we could actually pull it off. That led to some very last minute changes to schedules and some hiccups due to travel regulations but within a few days Goldie and I were in the Holy Land. 

Surreal and exciting are understatements. Nothing can truly describe the feeling of walking in the Old City and nothing can replace the experience of visiting the very first part of the Land to be owned by a Jew, the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron.

Having not visited Israel for so long, one thing took me by surprise. The feeling of anger that I felt approaching the Western Wall. I experienced something similar when we were barred from visiting the tombs of Yitzchak and Rivkah, our patriarch and matriarch buried in Hebron. 

This is our land, the holiest places on earth and we’re being treated as though we do not have a right to the land. We’re praying on a plaza that faces a fraction of the supporting wall of the Temple Mount - not even a remnant of the Temple itself. Why? To appease people whose entire goal is to wipe out every vestige of our connection to the Land. 

While I was overjoyed at being there I was simultaneously upset by the injustice of the current reality. 

It took some intention and focus to redirect the anger into motivation. Motivation to do something about it. 

We don’t have to simply accept this reality, we can - and must - do something about it. We have to do something about the underlying circumstances that have created this reality.  

This past Tuesday was the fast day of the 17th of Tammuz, the day which commemorates the Romans breaching the walls of Jerusalem which led to the destruction of the Second Temple. The 17th of Tammuz begins the 3 week period of mourning which culminates with the 9th of Av, commemorating the date of the Temple’s destruction. 

It’s the time of year when we are reminded of the need to do whatever we can to rectify the situation. The time of year, the Land of Israel, they both serve to highlight the significance of our place in this world. G-d put us each in this world for a purpose and we have the tools we need to achieve this purpose.

The key is to realize the enormity of this mission and be intentional and focused on achieving it. How? While it might sound cliché, it is anything but; we achieve our purpose through making this world a G-dly place. Elevating every interaction and infusing it with holiness. 

 

You are unique - just like everyone else

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Photo by davisuko on Unsplash 

Always remember you are unique - just like everyone else.

Seriously though, each of us have unique G-d given qualities and talents, and it’s up to us to choose how to use them. The challenge is that there’s two sides to every trait, every part of our personality can be used just as well for bad good as it can for good. Therein lies the risk; our role is to ensure that we use our uniqueness properly.

In this week’s Torah portion we read the narrative of Balak the Moabite King and Bilaam the Midianite Prophet. We’re told that both of them were deeply spiritually in tune and true forces to be reckoned with. However, both of these people chose to use their talents in the wrong way and ended up causing harm to the Jewish people, their own people and themselves.

There’s a very important detail that needs to be highlighted. Bilaam’s attempt at cursing the Jewish people ended up providing us with the clearest reference to the Messianic Redemption in the Torah. In fact, there is a powerful message embedded here.

The Talmud relates that when Moshiach arrives, the obstacles placed by the Yetzer Hara, the Evil Inclination, will be shown to the righteous as a tall, steep and imposing mountain and to the wicked as a thin flimsy string. The righteous will obviously feel accomplished with their achievement in overcoming this formidable foe and the wicked will feel silly that they couldn’t overcome such a weak challenge.

One thing will become clear to everyone; the high value placed on the Mitzvot we do now, i.e. before Moshiach arrives. We have the ability - and responsibility - to be part of making this world a better, more G-dly and kinder world. Right now, we have a chance to be part of the action - but soon, very soon, it will be too late.

Combating the darkness? The only effective method is increasing in actions of  light. So those unique G-d given qualities and talents? Use them to increase in goodness and kindness. Making this world a better place requires increasing positivity and strengthening the good. 

Don’t stay on the sidelines - or worse, get distracted using your talents for other purposes - get in the game and let’s all work together in making this world a better place.

G-d's Parking Spot

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Photo by Raban Haaijk on Unsplash 

Despite being a person who usually arrived on time, a young man was running late to an important job interview. He finally arrived at the correct address but there was nowhere to park! 

Although not being particularly religious, as he circled the block he began to pray feverishly. “G-d please help me find a parking spot!” 

He was desperate. He felt the job offer slipping away as he searched for a place to park. “G-d, if you find me a parking spot I will begin keeping Kosher and putting on tefillin!”

Just then, a spot opened up directly in front of the main entrance of his destination. 

As he pulled into the spot and hastily parked his car, he continued his conversation with G-d. “G-d, the deal's off, I found a spot!”

It’s a joke and we laugh, but do we in fact act in the same way? How often do we appreciate the miraculous blessings in our life? Do we fool ourselves to think that our accomplishments or success are our own doing?

We expect miracles to be overt, of sea splitting biblical proportions but more often than not, they’re so commonplace we forget to even notice them. 

This week’s Torah portion recounts the events just prior to our ancestors entering the Land of Israel and the miracles that took place along the way. One of the miracles was performed by G-d in a completely hidden manner and they only discovered what had happened because G-d caused them to. 

And this elicited a profound sense of thanks from the Jewish people, so much so that they composed a song of thanksgiving. 

Interestingly, despite having received numerous miraculous gifts from G-d over the duration of their desert sojourn, this is the only time they actually sang a song of thanksgiving. 

Was the manna not worthy of thanks? What about the miraculous well of water? What about the other ears they won in miraculous ways? Why didn’t they give thanks then? 

Here’s the difference: In those instances the miracles came in response to their desperate need. When, out of desperation, they turned to G-d to save them, He responded in kind. But that’s nothing compared to G-d preemptively providing for their protection. 

In the events described in our Torah portion, G-d’s salvation was a pure gift from Above. Not just a miraculous response in their time of need. 

That’s why they sang praise; it wasn’t just the miracle, it was experiencing G-d’s profound love for them. 

Our daily experience is much the same. We don’t even need to ask and we experience such abundance and so much blessing. If we took a moment to realize, we’d jump out of bed each morning and sing praise to G-d!

 

5 Facts About Israel That You May Not Have Known

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1. The Jewish claim to the land dates back over 4000 years

The Jewish claim to the land began much earlier than 1897 (the year of the First Zionist Congress). As described in the Torah, G-d created the world and chose the Jewish people as His chosen nation and gave them the land as an eternal inheritance. This was first promised by G-d to our forefather Abraham (as described in this week’s Torah portion) and then again to his son, Isaac, and later to his son Jacob. (Actually, the area promised to our forefathers, and later described in the Torah, is much larger than the Israel we know of today).

2. The Jewish people first settled in Israel over 3000 years ago

In the year 1273 BCE, under the leadership of Joshua, the Jewish people entered Israel, then called the Land of Canaan. Their first seven years in the land they waged war and defeated the 31 kings living there, and conquered their territory; the following seven years the land was divided among the 12 tribes and a portion of land was allocated to each tribe. The Jewish people lived in the land and controlled it for over 800 years, until the destruction of the first Temple in the year 422 BCE.

3. It’s called “Israel” but maybe it should have been called “Judah”

Jacob, our forefather, was given a second name, Israel, when he defeated the angel of his brother Esau. Since then, his descendants were called the “Children of Israel.” When they entered the land, it eventually became known as the “Land of Israel.” The first record of it being referred to in such a way is in the book of Samuel (1 Samuel 13:19).

In a way, it would make more sense for it be named “Judah.” You see, after King Solomon’s death, the land was split into two Jewish kingdoms; the Northern Kingdom was called the Kingdom of Israel, while the Southern Kingdom (where the Temple was situated) was called the Kingdom of Judah.

Eventually, the Northern Kingdom was defeated by the Assyrian Empire and the Jewish people living there were exiled to other countries, never to be heard of again. (They’re known as the Ten Lost Tribes.) The Southern Kingdom was miraculously saved and spared a similar fate. The Kingdom of Judah remained, and it would seem that the name “Judah” could have stuck.

4. Israel is called the Holy Land; but there are also “Holy Cities”

Jerusalem is the city that King David founded and chose to be the location of the Holy Temple. Hebron is the burial site of the patriarchs and matriarchs and was first purchased by our forefather Abraham. Safed is a mystical city in the north of Israel, a city that was the source for much of Jewish mysticism. Tiberias was an important center of Torah learning and was the city where the Sanhedrin (the rabbinical equivalent of the Supreme Court) last convened, and the place that it will return. Many great sages are buried there and we’re told that the revelation of Moshiach will begin there.

5. The Western Wall is not actually a wall of the Holy Temple

The wall we call today the Western Wall was never a part of the Holy Temple itself; it was part of the Temple Mount retaining wall. In the 1st century BCE, Herod the Great undertook a massive renovation project; to restore and beautify the then-dilapidated Second Temple. His project was so ambitious, that it even called for expanding the Temple Mount itself, hence the retaining wall.

When the Romans destroyed the Temple in 69 CE, this wall was not destroyed. And nearly two thousand years later, the wall still stands. It is a symbol of the resilience of the Jewish people, and the closest (readily accessible) spot to the location of the Holy Temple.

Oh, and one more thing - do you know how the area even became known as Palestine (until 75 years ago)? Well, to be clear, we Jews never stopped calling it Eretz Yisrael, the Land of Israel, but others called it Palestine due to the spitefulness of the Romans. 

The Romans were so incensed by the Jewish revolt led by Bar Kochba that when they finally defeated the revolt they renamed the area Syria Palaestina (Palestinian Syria) after the ancient Biblical nemesis of the Jewish people, the Philistines

By the way, you know the meaning of the name Philistine? The ones whose name the Romans used to spite the Jews? Yeah, the meaning of their name is (foreign) “invaders”. Quite ironic that some modern Arabs adopted their name to attempt to lay claim on our historical homeland…

Deep sea exploration

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The unknown has always fascinated humanity. And much of what we know of the far reaches of the universe is thanks to those brave (others would call them foolhardy) individuals who took risks to uncover the unknown.

The ones who ventured into the wilderness not knowing what was lurking past the mountains; those who were ready to follow their conviction of the nature of the earth in order to discover new routes of travel - only to discover new land. And those who were ready to dive deep into the sea to find what’s lurking miles beneath the surface.

As I’m sure you heard, this week such an expedition ended in a terrible way, the Titan deep sea submersible imploded killing all five people on board.

The question, as always, is why am I hearing about it? Why did I learn about this tragedy? We’re told by the Jewish mystics that everything we see and hear should serve as a guide in our life and the way we serve G-d. What lesson in my Divine service can there possibly be from such a story?

Judaism teaches us that the world as we know it conceals G-dliness, hence the ability for people to deny G-d’s existence - even while the very fact that they are alive is due to G-d causing them to exist. Every breath they take is being caused by G-d, yet with their very G-d given breath, they deny His existence. That’s why this world is referred to by the mystics as the “World of Concealment”.

Interestingly, the parable for this is the sea. While there is an entire teeming ecosystem underwater, when we look out across the ocean all we observe is water. There is no indication of the myriad life forms within until we dive deep and discover what’s beneath the surface.

Our role, our purpose of existence, is to be like deep sea submersibles and reveal the hidden nature of our physical reality - and avoid imploding in the process.

Torah study and mitzvah observance provide the tools we need to successfully navigate this deep sea expedition. But it’s imperative that we maintain perspective in the process of our quest. For this purpose G-d provides us with authentic Jewish leaders who guide us in this sometimes daunting process.

The Rebbe is such a leader. Despite his physical passing 29 years ago (the anniversary of which was yesterday, the 3rd of Tammuz), his guidance, leadership and influence continues to grow and provide the necessary inspiration to avoid (spiritual) implosion.

While many of us aren’t the type to sign up for such risky explorations - at this point we’ve already been “thrown in on the deep end.” We are already living in this spiritually submerged reality, we might as well join the effort to pull back the concealment and live up to the purpose we were thrown into it in the first place.

 

What does FDIC stand for?

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I’m assuming you think that the letters FDIC stand for the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Or maybe as you’ve been following recent news you decided that it stands for Folly Driven Investment Choices. If you’re the more pessimistic type, you might think it’s a foreboding acronym like Financial Disaster Is Coming. But I’d like to think it’s an acronym that is reminding us to Find Divine Inspiration in Current events.

Whenever there’s a big financial crisis the questions often surround the regulators, were they properly doing their job? How were such risky decisions allowed? Often regulators are too easy on those who they are supposed to regulate. They trust and rely on them more than they should.

Truthfully though, no one should be above oversight. In fact, the Kohen handling the finances in the Temple wouldn’t be allowed to wear a garment with pockets or carry a bag into the Temple treasury so that no one could accuse them of pilfering communal funds. Even Moses was asked to provide an accounting of all the materials that were donated for the construction of the Temple and how they were allocated. 

The accounting that Moses provided is recorded in this week’s Torah portion and underscores the importance of behaving beyond reprove, no matter who one might be. 

But there’s something that to me is even more profound embedded in the textual structure of this week’s Torah portion. We read a double portion of the Torah this week, when two portions are combined and read at one time. The second portion, Pekudei, is the one which discusses the tabernacle donations accounting. In fact, the term Pekudei means “accounts”. 

The portion begins with the Hebrew word, אלה, (eiyleh), “these are”. Elsewhere the commentaries point out that when the verse begins with this word as it appears here, it dismisses the previous discussion and is beginning anew. As opposed to when the Hebrew letter vav is at the beginning of it, ואלה “v’eilah”, meaning “AND these are”, then it is adding to what was previously discussed.

The way this verse is configured implies that the focus is on the coming portion, not the previous. In other words, which accounts are meaningful and significant enough to report? Those that were used to construct the sanctuary. 

Which reminds me of the story of the 19th century philanthropist Sir Moses Montefiore. He was once asked what he was worth. He made a brief calculation and stated a number. The questioner was baffled, “Surely you’re worth much more than that!”

Sir Moses explained, “You didn’t ask how much I own, you asked my worth. What I own now could transfer to another's possession in a matter of minutes. What I’ve given to Tzedakah, to support those in need or to benefit the community, that’s my true worth and can never be taken away.

By configuring the verse as it does, our Torah portion implies that the money we give away is the most significant element of our net worth. Not how much we have invested, as we’ve seen recently that could turn upside down and be lost in no time. Not how much we have in our bank account. Rather how much we’ve given to others.

Perhaps FDIC stands for Funds Donated and Invested in Charity (or maybe that final C stands for Chabad)?

Elevated dish washing

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Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

What is the best way to express a deep and passionate love? Sometimes the answer may well be by taking out the garbage and washing the dishes. Roses and chocolates may be nice, but they're superficial; the real expression of love is in the simple and even mundane acts that you do for the other.

Last week we read about the awesome revelation at Mount Sinai. Together as a people we witnessed direct divine revelation; no other group of people in history can lay claim to such an experience.

This week, though, we immediately learn about "earthly" laws: laws associated with business and dispute, laws of damages and laws of courts, laws of false promises and bribery. What a contrast - after being in such an inspired and elevated state, to deal with such mundane matters!

When we study Judaism a little deeper, we learn that although the elevated and inspired state is important, even more significant is to translate that inspiration into practice. The greater the inspiration and connection to G-d, the more profoundly affected should our physical lives be as well.

 

The purpose of the giving of the Torah and the revelation at Mount Sinai was not to show us how to escape this physical reality. The purpose of the giving of the Torah and the revelation at Mount Sinai was to show us how to elevate our physical life and to infuse our life with holiness.

This week's Torah portion is the 18th portion in the Torah. 18 is the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew word Chai, which means life. The Torah is not only relevant in the Synagogue, the Torah is relevant to every part of our life. It's not just about infusing Judaism into our life, it's about living a Jewish life.

Super Bowl and Super Women

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Despite the 49ers missing the cut, almost everyone I know plans to watch the Super Bowl this Sunday. It makes sense after all since the Super Bowl is the largest and most participated in annual religious experience in the US. 

Think about it: Just like a religion, it has its own rituals, and just like a religion, there are varying degrees of observance. There are those who not only watch the game, but spend an entire weekend at pre and post game parties; kind of like the people who spend the entire Yom Kippur in the synagogue. Then you have the people who just watch the game itself; that’s like those who just come to hear the shofar on Rosh Hashanah (or just for Yizkor on Yom Kippur). You even have the people who just watch the commercials - like the crowd that comes just for the kiddush (or the JFK Club as it’s called)!

That’s right, the Religion of Sports has, for many American Jews, replaced their Jewish heritage. It provides community and a goal to work toward, and no doubt the euphoric sense of being in a stadium packed with fans can easily compete with the most inspiring religious experience.

Despite numerous invitations, this Sunday I’ll be watching a completely different spectacle. I’ll be watching the annual banquet of the International Shluchos Conference. 

In case you need it, here’s a brief primer of some Chabad lingo: Chabad rabbis are actually called “Shluchim” which means emissaries (or in the singular, “shliach”). The feminine version of the word is “Shluchos” (or in the singular, Shlucha).

The secret of Chabad are the Shluchos; they are the ones who keep things on track and on mark. In Judaism it has always been known that the woman is the one who truly sets the tone in the home and this is certainly true in a Chabad House. 

The Shluchos are the ones who run the household, make sure the kids (and their husbands) are fed and dressed - all while giving classes, running community programs, meeting privately with people and ensuring that nothing falls through the cracks.

The Shluchos are the ultimate givers; they share themselves and their lives in heroic ways. Ensuring that everyone is cared for and remembered. 

I find the contrast between these two major events to be very significant and actually highlights divergent approaches to life. 

The way I see it, the primary difference between the Torah centered lifestyle and the lifestyle promoted in popular culture is this: The Torah focuses on giving and the pop culture value system is based on taking.

What do you think, is there something wrong with taking? Is there something wrong with watching out for your needs?

Yes and no. While we certainly need to take care of ourselves there’s something unsettling about taking, to the point that it makes us uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s because man is hardwired to be a giver, to contribute. Of course we have to take care of ourselves, but what is the end goal? Why are we taking care of ourselves? Just so that we can live a little longer and be a taker for more time? Or is there something more?

More to life there definitely is, but the secret is not looking out for yourself with more passion - it’s doing more for another. That’s how we fulfill our purpose in life.

The Torah advocates giving, both to G-d and to man. Doing a mitzvah because that’s what G-d wants from us, not just because it feels like the right thing to do. Helping another in times of need, not to varnish our resume or be awarded the “Humanitarian of the Year” award, but rather just to help them.

The most ironic part of it is, that the secret to finding happiness is not by getting what you want from life, it’s by giving of yourself to others. In other words, the more you focus on giving, both to man and G-d, the happier your life will be. 

So this Sunday afternoon, whether you watch the Super Bowl or the Shluchos banquet, take some time to consider how to strengthen your giving muscle. It will make your life so much richer, deeper and more satisfying. Even watching the Super Bowl, the epitome of pop culture, can be a giving opportunity. So go ahead, try giving instead of taking; you’ll be happier for it!

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While Goldie is in New York, she will be visiting and praying at the resting place of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, an auspicious and holy place. If you would like her to pray on your behalf or on behalf of a family member who could use a blessing, please email her [email protected]. Please include in the email your Jewish name and your mother’s Jewish name, as it is customary to include them in the prayer. 

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They say never discuss religion or politics with family; I think we need to actually add another “untouchable”: Apple vs. Android. Many people are uncomfortable speaking about things that, although truly important to them, they feel may not be "politically correct" to share.

This week's Torah portion, however, advances a strong case for sharing the greatness that you experience. It speaks about the final stage of the Exodus, the miracle of the Splitting of the Reed Sea. But it doesn't just mention it, the Torah records how the Jewish people, led by Moshe, sang songs of thanksgiving for this miracle. In addition to recognizing G-d's miracles it also served to publicize them. 

Chassidic thought teaches that a primary purpose in life is to reveal the G-dliness within the physical reality. This is accomplished primarily through fulfilling the Mitzvot and recognizing G-d's existence in the world.

When we see something, we should say something. When we marvel at the beauty of G-d's creations or experience miraculous events, we shouldn't keep it to ourselves, rather we should share it with others.

I'm not advocating changing Judaism into a proselytizing religion, but I do think it's integral that we ensure that we are knowledgeable and confident enough to be able to share it. After all, we have a responsibility to share it with our children and raise them to be knowledgeable and engaged Jews. And when our non Jewish friends or coworkers ask us why we do this or why we don't believe that,it wouldn’t hurt to be able to answer properly (not just saying that's the way we do it).

The very first step is to study and be knowledgeable. Get started now, there's no time like the present.

 

You can’t take your stuff with you

 
We tend to define our lives with “stuff”. 
 
And we have way too much stuff. We buy too much stuff. And then we keep too much stuff.
 
And when we have all this stuff, we start to worry about it; “What if my kid breaks some of my nice stuff? What if someone steals my fancy stuff?”
 
Is the answer to downsize? Join the tiny home movement or the simple living movement? Perhaps. 
 
But the truly enduring and effective shift is our attitude toward our stuff. Too often our self worth is wrapped up in our stuff. Where we live and what type of house we live in, the car we drive and the cell phone we use - even the brand of clothing we wear. 
 
Our stuff makes us into who we are.
 
And that’s a really precarious place to be in - what happens if we can’t afford stuff? What if we lose our stuff? And most importantly, what happens to our stuff when we die? We can’t take it with us.
 
The truth is we all know that life is about much more than stuff. But we get so carried away with it all. 
 
So this week’s Torah portion comes along to help us keep our lives in perspective. 
 
Allow me to explain. In what could perhaps be considered strange irony, this week’s Torah portion is called “vayechi”, meaning “and he lived”; yet the content of the portion surrounds our forefather Jacob's final days, passing and funeral. 
 
It also discusses Joseph’s demise and the promise he extracted from his descendants to bury him in Israel when they ultimately leave Egypt.
 
Considering that the Torah is Divine communication, keeping in mind that the Torah is a guidebook for life, it’s obvious that this is not a mistake. In fact, the name of this portion along with its content provides us with profound insight to living our lives - free of stuff.
 
Our forefathers' lives were defined by values and ideals that are not limited to physical life. Unlike stuff, what defines their lives doesn’t get old, doesn’t need storage space and most importantly, truly never dies.
 
In fact, our sages tell us that “our forefather Jacob never died”. Because his life wasn’t defined by stuff, his life is truly eternal. 
And by adopting his mindset and approach to life, our lives could be too.
 
*** 
 
Once somewhat on the topic, it’s important to note the high value placed on Jewish burial as evidenced in this week’s Torah portion. For various reasons, sometimes economic, it’s become popular to choose cremation instead of burial. It’s crucial to understand how devastating cremation is to the soul and how the underlying values that lead to choosing cremation are contrary to Jewish values and ideals. If this is something you might have been considering, please take a few minutes and read these articles: Why Does Judaism Forbid Cremation? And Cremation or Burial? 
 
The Torah precepts regarding burial over cremation are so significant that this is one of the areas where we are instructed to violate our parents’ direct request rather than cremate them after their passing. If economic concerns are primary, please be certain to contact me as we have funds specifically earmarked to help cover burial costs.

The ladder of life

May be an image of tree and nature 
As you journey along your merry (or perhaps, miserable) way through life, you’ll find yourself having to navigate obstacles. 
 
And they come in all forms; they could be a big ditch, an unexpected setback, something you have to overcome and navigate across. Other times it may be like a big mountain that looms up in front of you, an intimidating and scary task or responsibility. 
 
A bridge will get you across a chasm; a ladder is necessary to climb up and get over a vertical obstacle. 
 
While they accomplish similar goals, they have very different connotations. A bridge leaves one on the other side but at the same level, a ladder helps one reach a new height. 
 
Our Torah portion this week tells of Jacob leaving home for a new frontier. He is embarking on a new chapter in his life, one that would prove pivotal not only for him but for future generations too.
 
Before he leaves the land of his birth, he stops on what would later become the Temple Mount. He lays down to sleep and has a dream of a ladder reaching from the earth to the heavens. 
 
As with everything shared by the Torah, the Book of Divine Guidance and Instruction, there’s much symbolism and lessons embedded in this narrative.
 
As we go about our life we should consider our journey as one beginning on earth but heading upwards. Constantly on a path of growth and continuously elevating ourselves and those around us. While we may occasionally experience setbacks, our trajectory must be one of growth. 
 
As someone wise once said, either I win or I learn. Even the challenges we face can and must be viewed as part of our upward progression.
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