What's it all about?
Fundamentally, what's a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
Myth: A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an event.
Fact: A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a person.
Myth: You go through a specific ceremony and “become Bar/Bat Mitzvah’ed”.
Fact: Becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah marks that you have reached a certain emotional maturity. It develops at age 12 for a girl and 13 for a boy. It happens with or without a party, a rabbi, or a ceremony.
Myth: Training consists of at least one year studying to read Hebrew.
Fact: While many focus on Hebrew Reading skill, Bar/Bat Mitzvah is about taking the “training” — the education — that we got during our childhood, and growing forward for the rest of life.
Myth: The idea that a child becomes an adult at 12/13 is outdated.
Fact: Judaism is not suggesting a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a full adult in every sense; rather it is the time that maturity begins to set in and the child is ready to step beyond childhood.
The Journey from Childhood to Adulthood
Childhood is a time to learn from others — watching, imitating, seeing what others are doing and copying it for themselves — under the guidance of parents and teachers.
A child thinks more in the short term, very conscious of immediate needs and wants. Thus, they aren’t yet expected to rise above their instinctive desires, unless there’s some immediate gratification or punishment attached.
"Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the entree into adulthood."
At Bar/Bat Mitzvah, with an increased maturity, and a personality that is developing and crystallizing, we become better equipped to choose correct responses to life’s dilemmas, and we slowly begin to seek meaning, fulfillment, connection and inspiration.
Life is no longer one-dimensional; it has a depth and a complexity of which children are blissfully unaware. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah can say, "Although I really want it, I know it's wrong. So I'll rise above my temptations."
They have entered a 'post-childhood' phase, ready to accept responsibility for their actions, and ready to 'step-up to the plate' as a reliable functionary in family and society.
So, what are we celebrating with this ‘coming of age’?
Myth: We are celebrating a newly-minted adult.
Fact: We are celebrating the new status of someone who can now be “officially” counted in the Jewish Community, ready to take a place of real responsibility!
What a reason to celebrate!
