There’s so much noise out there, how do you maintain your sanity?
While it’s always been a struggle, recent events - along with the 24 hour news cycle and all the social media distraction - have magnified the problem and made the question all the more urgent.
The good news is that the solution is actually really simple. While implementing the solution is not quite as simple, the good news is that we each have all the tools we need to be successful at it.
Despite what it may feel like at times, we are in full control of what comes into our orbit. In addition, we can only think about one thing at a time. Put the two together and we have a simple solution: Choose to think about positive things.
There’s a Chassidic tale about an individual struggling with this exact issue. His Rebbe (Chassidic Master) suggested that he travel to a particular town to discuss the matter with an outstanding rabbi there.
He arrived late at night, the entire town was dark - except for one home. He correctly assumed that the rabbi lived there and promptly knocked on the door. No answer. Glancing through the window he could see the rabbi studying. He knocked again.
Again, no answer.
He tried again, this time a little louder. Still no answer. He was tired and cold but no matter how many times he knocked the rabbi never answered the door. Eventually he gave up and ended up sleeping on the doorstep.
As the sun rose, the rabbi suddenly opened the door and found him sleeping on the doorstep. “Please come in, make yourself comfortable! Can I get you a warm drink?” The rabbi was inviting and friendly and he graciously accepted the invitation.
After he had relaxed and warmed up a little, he explained the purpose of his visit. The rabbi listened intently and when he finished explaining how much he struggled with controlling his thoughts the rabbi exclaimed, “I taught you this lesson already!”
Confused, he asked for an explanation. “When you arrived,” the rabbi explained, “you knocked on my door. But I didn’t answer the door and wouldn’t allow you to enter my home”.
“All sorts of thoughts try to enter our minds” the rabbi continued, “it’s up to us to decide which we allow to enter and which we leave outside”.
While it’s easy to say, if we don’t fill “our home” (i.e. our mind, our life) with positive and nourishing thoughts, our life will always be one big struggle. The key to success is actively filling our mind and life with goodness and light.
An interesting and relevant detail is mentioned in this week’s Torah portion. Almost in passing, we’re told about our patriarch Yitzchak when he marries his wife Rivka; that she comforted him after his mother’s passing. Further we’re told that she replaced the miraculous effect of his mother.
When his mother would light the Shabbat candles the light would miraculously last the entire week. That stopped when she passed. Although candles were still lit for Friday night, their effect was not as powerful as when she had been alive. Until Rivkah came along.
This speaks to the powerful effect of the women on the home and the influence they carry. But it’s relevant to all of us as well.
We are the ones who choose the environment in which we live. While we can’t necessarily change anything outside our door, we can certainly choose what to allow inside. We create the environment in our home and in our mind.
When we create a home of light and peace, when we control the door and only allow in the right ideas and attitudes, our home is consistently alight with the peaceful “light of Shabbat”.
So instead of complaining about the noise and distraction from outside, instead of struggling with it, close the door. Choose what to allow entry and - critically - what to deny. And set about lighting your home and life with holiness and peace.