We Jews know how to worry. And when this time of year comes around, we seem to indulge in extra doses. Many Jewish families are concerned about their kids feeling left out - after all, their classmates are celebrating; they’re decorating their home and anticipating gifts. Jewish parents don’t want their kids to feel left out. (I’ll let you in on a secret - do you know how the “tradition” of giving gifts on Chanukah came about? You know it - when American Jewish parents were afraid that their precious Jewish children would feel left out, or even worse, jealous of their non-Jewish neighbors.) What are parents worried about? That their kids will be more excited about non-Jewish holidays and culture and come to abandon their Jewish heritage (G-d forbid). How do they respond? By creating a superficial Judaism that reflects the lights and presents of their non-Jewish neighbors. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Because Judaism is not just superficial, it’s not just part of our life; it defines our life. It is who we are and how we should live. This is the key; if we want our kids to mature into involved, observant and active Jewish adults, we need to provide them with a Judaism that is deep and substantive. At some point in recent history, American Judaism decided that the reason that Jewish observance was in decline was due to the difficulty associated with being Jewish; Hebrew School, synagogue, kosher, Shabbat - all a drag and too much to expect from our kids. So, the decision was made to water it down. Make Judaism a nice cultural thing; Jewish deli, Chanukah presents - simple stuff, sweet and easy to integrate. The profound mistake they made was that they failed to take into account that a meaningless and superficial Judaism is also one that is easy to drop. Children raised in a Jewish home that is only superficially (and often reluctantly) involved get the message that Judaism is not really worth maintaining. Hence the rapid decline in observance and engagement. It may seem a little incongruous to you but if you want your kids to remain Jewishly engaged, or if you’re looking to rediscover the Judaism that you feel is missing in your life, the key is to engage in the deep and beautiful observance of mitzvot and Torah study.
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